Being a Starving Graphic Artist Sucks

Graphic designers, web designers, design students and freelancers - thanks for visiting. This blog is a collection of my thoughts, ideas and observations concerning my almost 15 yr. career as a freelance graphic designer and creative director in the corporate world. It's my hope that by sharing these, you'll gain some honest, practical insights on how the industry really works and you'll avoid some of the nasty mistakes I made along the way.

If you dig what I am writing about and like the blog, please consider: joining the conversation and leave a comment or two, sharing the blog with other creative students/professionals out there, linking to this blog or picking up a resource on the products page if you're led to. Whatever you decide is totally up to you - I'd appreciate your help. Feel free to drop me a line with suggestions on what to write about, guest blogging or resources that you wish someone would develop for you. Thanks for stopping by, come back and visit soon - jeremy.

Freelance Designers: Are You Actually Encouraging Your Clients to Nit-Pick Your Projects?

If you've read enough of my work...heck, even a little of my work you'll easily be able to spot that I am not a grammar wiz. In fact you may have spotted that I left a word out here and there, screwed up a homonym or blew a punctuation mark.I do my best to catch things, but there are times that something will get by me even though I consider myself an extremely meticulous person.

It's easy for me to spot spelling and grammatical errors in someone else's writing, but like most writers (and freelancers); I've developed a blind spot when it comes to my own work. Maybe you have too.

That's why I'd always suggest that if you have a resource (friend/colleague in the field) that can quickly proof your work before you send it to the client or printer; it's a solid idea that will save you a lot of headaches down the line*. Taking this extra step before sending out your work will keep you from having to apologize to your client, looking sloppy and having to waste time going back and fixing something that could have been done right the first time.

PS - I've also found that some clients are a lot like sharks when they smell blood in the water: if they catch a mistake or two they'll start rifling though the rest of the project in a virtual frenzy looking for ANYTHING that looks out of place. If you lose your client's confidence in your ability to not make mistakes every project you do from then on will feel like your client is giving your creative project a full rectal exam - ouch.

* NOTE: If you do have someone reasonably qualified and wiling to help you, make sure you first indicate exactly what type of feedback/critique you're looking for or you might get feedback you didn't expect or want.

They Just Aren't That in to You - How to Interpret a Potential Client Canceling Your Meeting Together

Let's set the story up: you set the appointment to meet a prospect at a local coffee shop to talk about developing their web site (or whatever). On the day of the appointment you ensure you have plenty of rest, you make sure your schedule is wide open, you shave/shower and make sure your portfolio is in top shape, you also double-check your driving directions and make sure you leave in plenty of time...and then the prospect calls (at the last minute and cancels).

Come on man, are you kidding me?!?!

You're sitting in your car thinking, "What the heck happened?!?!" You may of course be thinking some other things that aren't quite as nice, but I'll try to keep it rated PG in this post. Whatever your emotion is, it's probably not a pleasant one - you're probably a little ticked off.

I have been there too - it sucks. You of course can't control what has just happened but you can control what you decide to do with the prospect after they've canceled on you. Should you reschedule or tell the prospect, "hasta la vista, baby!"

If aren't really sure how to decide, here are some of the factors I consider in deciding whether or not to give a prospect another chance:

• How did the prospect cancel: email, text, voice mail or live call? The last option is the most respectable one.
• When did they cancel: a week in advance, a few days, 24 hrs or right before the meeting?
• What exactly was their reason?
• Did they sound honest and sincere?
• Did they offer a sincere apology? Did I get the feeling they respected my time?
• Did they provide me some times that they would like to reschedule or did they say, "I'll have to get back to you"? If they said the later, they might not be all that interested.

My Personal History with Prospects that have Cancelled On Me
I'd say most of the folks that canceled on me didn't actually turn out to be loyal, long-standing clients. Let's say out of 5 clients that stood me up 1 of them actually turned out fine, the other 4 were a bust. Your results might be different (hopefully better).

I don't have an exact formula for deciding to give a prospect another chance, I do my best to use my intuition (which usually proves to be right), if you've got good instincts too - trust them.

Freelance Designers: Don't Waste Your Time - Qualify

From talking with freelancers for years I've found that qualifying clients is one of the most difficult challenges they face, in fact, most freelancers just skip this part of the sales process because it's too awkward and uncomfortable.

I am sure there are a few of your reading this right now thinking, "Yeah, I can't stand doing that..." I used to be one of you - scared to really find out if meeting with a client was really worth MY time.

I did what many of you guys did (or are still doing): I didn't qualify potential clients to see if they had the money to hire me. Instead I just hoped that when a client called me on the phone or emailed me, that she/he kind of knew how much I'd be charging and wouldn't set up a live meeting unless they had some idea.

Bad plan guys, I wasted loads of time on potential clients that didn't even have close to the money they needed to pay me. Many of these people were scrounging for bargains, and figured that since I DIDN'T qualify them on the phone that I'd be desperate to take on any project, no matter how cheap it was.

Perhaps many of you guys have done the same thing. Don't beat yourself up over it, if you just couldn't find the right words to say to a potential client to see if she/he is really serious about hiring you, I wanted to share this real-world back and forth between a freelancer and potential client that should help you out.

We'll pick this up when the potential client has expressed that she/he wants to meet with you for a meeting.

YOU: Sounds great, I'd love to get together to learn more about what you're doing with your business and how I can help. As I start looking at my schedule to see when I might be available let me ask you, do you have a budget you'd like me to stay within?

POTENTIAL CLIENT: No, not really.

YOU: Do you have a budget?

POTENTIAL CLIENT: No.

YOU: That's okay, I have few clients that came to me without a budget, but it's always a good idea to have one.

What I have found though is that a lot of clients have kind of an idea of how much they can spend or how much they think the project should run them...even though they're not really sure how they came up with that cost figure? Do you have a number in your head?

POTENTIAL CLIENT: No, not really.

YOU: That's okay too, not a problem. In working with clients for almost 5 years I've found that while some have worked with a designer before, most haven't. The ones that haven't typically have about $1000 in mind for the project, if you had a number in your head it might have been less than or more than that, right?

YOU: I've found that on the low end, you'll be able to have one of these projects done for as little as $500 by a student or struggling designer. I have a few I can refer you to, but I honestly don't feel you're going to like the quality and service you're going to receive. Clients have often told me the trouble with this route is that their focus on designing something that their design colleagues would be impressed with, not necessarily something that your customers would even understand or be attracted to - the result is your sales suffer and you end up feeling you wasted your time and money. Does that make sense?

POTENTIAL CLIENT: I suppose.

YOU: On the other end of the spectrum, you've got designers charging upwards of $3500 for the same project. Make no mistake these designers are talented, but I don't know any small business that has $3500 to drop on something like this, do you?

I am priced right in the middle of these two extremes, at $1500 my clients have found they get an outstanding value by not having to pay an exorbitant price, and they always comment that they got a good return on their investment and their customers rave about what I've come up with.

If I was able to get you the same great results for your project and still keep the price between $1250 and $1750 is that something that would be comfortable for you.

POTENTIAL CLIENT: I suppose.

The Bottom Line:

Clients aren't typically forthright with their budget. Most people have no idea what something should cost, and even the ones that have an idea won't tell you because they don't trust you enough to come right out and tell you what their budget is. It's your responsibility (through intuitive, non-threatening questions, like the ones above) to get the information you need to make a decision on whether this potential client is worth meeting or not.

If you find the client gets defensive or belligerent when talking about her/his budget, or you get a strong sense that they aren't telling the truth, you may consider passing on the meeting and suggesting they work with someone else. Make sure you're looking after yourself and your time, the potential client won't do it for you.

Another Way Graphic Designers & Web Designers Can Avoid Disaster with a Client

From out of the blue I received the email below from a past client that I hadn't worked with in about 2 years. I'd developed a brand, collateral materials and a web site (that was later updated by someone else). This situation could have turned extremely ugly had I not taken a couple of precautions I'll fill you in on in just a second - here's what she wrote me:

"Jeremy,
Can you please help me?!?! I need the password in order to get my website and email back up and running. I thought I was the owner of the domain name but they won't allow me any access w/out the password or credit card number and I believe it's under your company name. I have been fighting with the registrar for a couple of days now and I need you to fix this."

While it's true that when initially designed the site I did have the hosting and domain in my name rather than the client's*, every year I'd have to email her and ask if she wanted to renew or not (even though I wasn't working with her anymore).

It just so happens that the last time her domain name was up for renewal I sent my yearly email out and she in return sent me an email back, indicating that she was done with the done with the domain name. Now I could have thanked her for letting me know and throw the email in the trash since I wasn't working with her anymore, but I kept the email, which saved my butt in this case.

Think about it - if I threw the email away I'd have no proof that I asked her or that she told me not to new it. The client could have said, "I don't remember you asking me that!" She could have denied she ever made the decision and could have then blamed me for losing her domain name. Instead, I was able to refer to the exact date and email she sent me indicating she didn't want the domain name. And instead of this turning into an ugly, drawn-out situation (and trust me, if you don't protect yourself, they can get REALLY ugly), I never heard another peep out of her about it. 

So the lesson here is, whether it's asking a client to decide whether or not to renew a domain name, approve an advertisement or agree to your project scope:

1. GET IT IN WRITING, so skip the phone calls no matter how much easier or how much you like the client - make sure you get their decision in writing.
2. KEEP THE EMAIL OR DOCUMENT (for a very, very long time...keep it for far more than you ever thought you would need, you never know when it'll come in handy)

Here was my response:
"Sorry to hear that Judy, these things can be a bit of a pain!
If you remember, you sent me an email back on 7/31 of last year indicating that I should not renew the domain name, so unfortunately I don't own it. The web host/registrar informed me that this domain is registered but as to who owns it, I have absolutely no idea, I just know it's not me. They suggested that you fill out a "Change of email form"...for that you'll want to give them a call. Again, I wish you the best of luck - sorry I couldn't have been more help."

Whether you're boxing or freelancing, the same rule applies:
Protect yourself at all times.

* I figured it would have been easier if I just went ahead and registered the domain name and got the hosting in my name - the client wouldn’t have to struggle to get an account, I was eager to start and I could even mark it up a little if I wanted. While this was a good idea at first it can really turn sour if you decide you don't want to work with the client anymore or you eventually transition out of freelancing. I'd highly recommend either using a reseller package or insist the client get their own account. Putting these things in your own name isn't worth it and doing so may come back to haunt you.

Oh Dear...Another Bad Photoshop, Bad Logo Design Case Study

Quite a few months back I saw this logo as part of a television ad on ESPN. Yep, you read that right...this logo wasn't drawn up for some "Mom and Pop" shop in a small backwoods town in West Virginia, they featured this bad boy on a nationally televised ad - sweet!

Wow...I don't even know where to begin with this one - this has to be one of the worst looking, least effective logos I've ever seen. in fact, I'll go as far as to say that it in some cases will offend it's target audience.

Looking beyond the mere aesthetics for a moment (which is hard to do), you CAN'T read the darn thing. Hmmm, making the text in all caps and putting multi-colored boxes in the back will make the letters much more readable, right? Well, at least their target audience (older retiring people) have better eyesight than most people so it's probably okay. Unbelievable, who in their right mind would ever design a logo meant to attract older people that's so incredibly hard to read?!? It's almost as if these people went out of their way to piss off their target audience. Congratulations guys.

Shifting over the aesthetics of the logo, or lack there of...even if you had the top area in all caps, why would you ever decide to put color boxes behind them? Not only does this reduce readability down to zero, but it looks absolutely beastly. It looks like Bonko-the-Clown wolfed down an entire bowl of Fruity Pebbles and threw them up all over the computer screen.

Mercifully I'll try wrapping all of this up by asking, "Do any of you feel like the colored blocks at the top look like the little wooden blocks you played with when you were a kid?" Ah yes, older people like nothing more than be reminded that they needed to be talked to and dealt with like children. And while I am not saying every retiring person felt this way when looking at the logo, both you and I know that a few of them did - nothing more you want to do with your logo than insult some of your target audience. 

By the way, check out one of the graphics they have on their web site over to the right - you'll see the text in blue actually gets covered up by the floating collateral materials. You might be thinking, "Dude, cut 'em a break, it's just the HTML rendering in your browser." Nope, the text is actually embedded in the image - someone actually designed this in Photoshop with the text getting cut off and uploaded it. Ouch.

The Ridiculous but "Most Likely" Accurate Marketing/Design Budget:
Nationally televised ad cost: $50,000
Logo design cost: $5 + a Harkin's movie pass
Web design cost: $15 + Harkin's movie pass AND a "Scratch and Win" lotto ticket

Look Before You Leap – What You Should Know Before You Make Freelance Design a Career

When I was working in the corporate world back in the late 90’s early 2000’s, I dreamed of someday running my own freelance design company. You might be in that position today, or perhaps you’ve recently made “the jump”. What I’ve found (as is often with a lot of other aspects in my life), is that what I imagined in my dream and what I experienced in reality were two very different things. This isn’t necessarily bad, but all too often I’ve noticed that people expect their dreams and reality to synch up perfectly – they rarely do.

If you’re considering a career as a freelance designer I’d first want to congratulate you, this can be a wonderful direct for your life. At the same time, I am reminded of a quote in the movie, “Rudy”, which is one of my favorites. One of the practice coaches barks out a grim reminder to a rag-tag group of no-name football player in front of him who were hoping and praying they would earn a spot on the Notre Dame team, “...let me tell it to you as clean as I can...if any of you has any fantasies of running out of that tunnel with your gold helmets shining in the sun, you best leave them right here”.

In the framework of becoming a freelance designer, let me tell it to you as clean as I can. If any of you have aspirations of making a 6 figure income by running a design firm from a beach lawn chair, all of your clients would be wonderful and all you would need to do was put in 3-4 hours a day – you’d best leave the right here. If you’ve been considering starting a design firm, and I just burst your bubble, I apologize. Better you learn the truth now, than go in being naïve like I did. Don’t get me wrong, with the right knowledge, training, talent and effort, you can make a load of money doing what you love, but it’s a challenging road.

Below you’ll see 2 different sides to the same coin, I first cover what I imagined running a freelance design firm would be like before I became one, the second section is what really happened in reality. You’ll notice that #1 on the dream side will match up with the #1 on the reality side, and so on...

The Dream:

1. Set your own hours.
2. Work with the clients that you want to.
3. You directly control how much or how little you make.
4. You decide what you’re going to do for the day.
5. You can have a lot of variety in your day so you’re not always doing one thing over and over.
6. You have much more creativity to design what you’d like in a freelancing environment than a corporate environment often provides.
7. You won’t have to deal with those crazy people in sales and marketing anymore (if you’ve ever been in a corporate or production environment, you know what I mean)
8. You’ll have an opportunity for more people to see and appreciate your creativity.
9. You won’t have a boss standing over you demanding the impossible.
10. You have the ability to make a lot of money as a freelancer. You’ll no longer be on a fixed income.
11. You’ll find exhilarated and inspired at times.
12. You’ll have the opportunity to work with wonderful business people and learn about entirely new industries you may never have known anything about before.

 The Reality:

1. Often the hours you set are long hours.
2. Might be forced into working with clients you don’t want because you’re not getting enough business.
3. How much you’re actually bringing in might not be enough.
4. Some designers wake up and wonder, “What the heck should I do today – what should I be doing?”
5. You have to be willing to do a lot of things you perhaps don’t want to (networking, dealing directly with clients, handling complaints, sales calls, etc.).
6. Clients ultimately decide what you’re going to design. You’ll have more creative freedom most of the time, but you’ll quickly find that you can’t just design whatever you feel like.
7. You are the sales and marketing department.
8. Being more in the public eye, you’ll naturally be subject to more criticism by people that may or may not like you work.
9. You may find you’re working with 5+ bosses all standing over you demanding the impossible.
10. You may run the risk of losing a lot of money as a freelance designer. You may find your income going up and down.
11. At times you’ll feel frustrated, uninspired and drained.
12. If you’re in freelance long you’re going to run into some people that aren’t of the highest quality. In every group of people out there you’ll find bad apples - clients are no different.

This post isn’t meant to discourage you, only to paint a realistic picture in your mind before you make the jump to freelance designer.  

If you’re considering becoming a freelance designer, don’t let this post dissuade you. Every career out there has pros and cons to it, freelance design is no different. It will be more than worth your while to take a little time to consider the good, the bad and the ugly about freelance design before you decide to make the leap.

Graphic Design / Web Design Freelancers: What Type of Clients Should You Want to Work with?

In his post, "Frightened, clueless or uninformed?", Seth Godin cleverly defines 3 potentially different types of clients out there:

Uninformed people need information and insight in order to figure out what to do next. They are approaching the problem with optimism and calm, but they need to be taught. Uninformed is not a pejorative term, it's a temporary state.

Clueless people don't know what to do and they don't know that they don't know what to do. They don't know the right questions to ask. Giving them instructions is insufficient. First, they need to be sold on what the platform even looks like.

And frightened people will resist any help you can give them, and they will blame you for the stress the change is causing. Scared people like to shoot the messenger. Duck.

At the end of this post Seth advises us (business people, who includes freelancers too) to, "Comfort the frightened, coach the clueless and teach the uninformed". Now I am going to take the conversation in a different direction (specific to freelancers), but concerning Seth's above statement: I couldn’t disagree more, here's why...

As freelancers, we can only work with a finite number of people and just like everyone else, we only have a finite number of hours in the day/week to work. With me so far?

With this idea that I as a freelancer can only work with a certain number of people and can only devote a certain number of hours to running my business, the uninformed potential client is the only one I'd even consider working with.

According to his definition, Seth indicates that clueless clients don't even know what they don't know - they might not even know they need branding, marketing strategy or even a web presence. It's therefore going to take a lot of time and energy to educate these people on the value. Once you educate them on what's out there, then you have to sell them on the idea - that's a tough road.

All too often I've run across frightened clients as well, they're just as bad as the clueless ones because they often see that ANY spending in terms of design/marketing is a waste. While these potential clients might not be happy with their current business performance, it'll take an act of God for them to break out of their rut and hire someone on to help. Instead of seeing design/marketing as an investment, these people just see it a necessary evil in business and will avoid it like the plague. And yes, I agree with Seth that they will "shoot the messenger"; so if you think that you're going to ride in on a white horse and convince them of their naive thinking, you're wrong.

And sure, I would admit that while it's possible to work with clients in the clueless and frightened categories, it doesn't make a lot of sense PROVIDED that you can get clients in the uninformed category (but beggars can't be choosers). What I am saying is that if you had the choice, you'd want to stick with the uninformed, they are going to probably pay you the most and will cause the least amount of problems.

Seth is right that the frightened need comforted and the clueless need taught...if you have the choice; let some other freelancer do it, you focus on working with clients that pay the bills and allow you to keep your sanity.

Yep, Another Bad Photoshop, Bad Design Entry

Happy Friday guys,
Today's "winner" comes from Consumer Reports (in their funny "goofs, glitches and gotchas" section).

This one's downright hysterical - not only would Word have caught the spelling mistakes at the click of a button, but the company makes a point of slamming its competitors for not having people with good understanding of the English language.

Bottom Line:

• You have under 30 words in the entire ad...maybe you could keep the number of fonts under 30 as well. I count three different fonts in there; I suppose they feel like they're getting their money's worth - too bad it looks hideous.
• Looking at the title "European Maid for You", I have one word for you - "leading".
• Maybe consider turning it down a notch when it comes to the ALL CAPS IN THE AD.
• So you have a nice, clean edge, why not left justify all of the content instead of haphazardly indenting and not indenting?
• Hit spell check before you upload the final artwork - geniuses.

Does Star Wars' Han Solo Have the Key to Being a Successful Freelancing Graphic/Web Design?!?!

Yeah I admit it; I am sort of a Star Wars geek, to what degree is still left open to debate. I do still have all of my old Star War toys (my Grandmother who bought most of them insisted I take good care and hang on to them). To my defense of not being a compete sci-fi nerd:

• I've never dressed up as a Star Wars character (although I've always wanted a blue lightsaber)
• I don't even like the last 3 movies Lucas made - rubbish
• I actually don't currently own any of the Star War movies on DVD or Blue Ray

All of that said, a few days ago while my mind was wandering I discovered an odd comparison of a scene between Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan in the original Star Wars movie and the changing landscape of freelance design. I know it sounds odd but give me a chance; I'll "tie" them together. (Uh...I made a funny there didn't I?)

If you're familiar with the movie skip down a paragraph...this back-story section here is for the less nerdy or younger generation that hasn't yet seen the original Star Wars movie. I am describing the negotiation scene in Episode 4 (Star Wars) between Han, Luke, and Obi Wan in Mos Eisley Space Station. This scene would be similar to a freelancer interviewing a few prospective clients in a Starbucks. 

Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan: two men living on a desolate world, "Tatooine" suddenly find themselves in a distressed position whereby they need immediate transportation off of the "Wow, this place really sucks" planet and into outer space to rendezvous with rebels who share the same cause. Desperate to find a willing and able pilot with spaceship to assist them, Luke and Obi Wan find themselves in a cantina negotiating with a Han Solo - a space pilot who coincidentally is a desperate character in his own right. The three of them are sitting at a table trying to determine if they can cut a deal or not.

Check out time code 4:48 - 5:58 in the video below:

Han: $10,000...all in advance
Luke: 10,000?!?! We can almost buy our own ship for that!
Han: But who's going to fly it kid...you?!?!

Can't you see the parallel between this and where freelancing is heading? It's perfectly clear, right? Okay, maybe not...let me drop some ideas on you.

In this analogy we (freelancers) are Han Solo: we've got a product/service that we're willing to offer to clients (Luke and Obi Wan) for the right price. With me so far?

Luke, (like some clients both you and I have met), is staggered by the cost of the service, he immediately blurts out that he doesn't need a professional, doesn't need to pay an "outrageous" fee - Luke foolishly feels he can do it himself (keep in mind that while Luke isn't an idiot, he has NO experience flying a ship like the one their talking about). Luke isn't willing to pay for Han's expertise as a space pilot, instead Luke feels that all he needs is a ship - he can do the rest on his own.

Hmm, is this starting to sound like some of the clients you've met now?
Does it feel more and more that clients are less willing to pay for expertise and more like they can do it themselves?

Going back to the Star Wars example, in response to Luke's ridiculous comment Han comes back with a zinger that I believe encapsulates the way the freelancing industry is heading and how freelancers will be able to continue to be successful, "But who's going to fly it kid...you?!?!"

With all of the discount web/branding templates, tutorials, spec work web sites and cheap drive-through logo companies and freelancers who'll work for nothing, it's easy for clients to feel like Luke - there's no need to pay for expertise, all they need to be successful is a second-rate brand, web site...or spaceship and they can do the rest themselves.

They're wrong, most companies that try to go it alone in terms of marketing and design without an expert helping them will fail within 2-3 years, so there's an opportunity for skilled freelancers who can offer consulting (and marketing) advice rather than just pretty design.

To be successful as a freelancer now, not only do you need to have a good "spaceship" by offering appealing design (which I've just mentioned is readily and cheaply available in template form), but you need to be able to provide a client with expertise as a consultant that will help them achieve their objectives...in the Star Wars example, the objective was fast, safe travel, for your clients it's more revenue and more clients...can you help them do that? If you can, you have a bright future in freelancing.

Hope you enjoyed the analogy, if you did please pass it along!

When Good Professional Sports Teams' Logos Go "Bad"

Hey guys,
Just wanted to thank you for hooking my friend Tom with some inquiries about his Flash position. He mentioned he had some great designers apply and ended up talking with a handful of them. I'll try to post these gigs as they come in - thanks for the help on this one.

If you check in the margin to the right you'll see a new category to check out - I had a few folks write in and ask for a specific "spec work" section that they could easily refer to...enjoy.

Lastly, if you're a Star Wars geek like me* you'll definitely want to check out my post on Monday, I believe in spite of cheap labor, contest web sites like CrowdSpring, etc., that Han Solo actually has the key to being successful as a creative freelancer in the years to come. Think I am crazy? Well maybe...but check it out and me know what you think!

Newly Proposed (sort of) Fierce Logos
Get a load of made up the "fiercified" logos on the right. Nah, I didn't do these, they actually were in an article by Kurt Snibbe, Page 2, ESPN.com. Ran April 22, 2009.

I can't quite figure out what is going on with the Boston Celtics' logo...sure, I get the board with a nail in it, but what's fiercer about changing the color of his face to green? He doesn't look fierce - just looks ill.

Doesn't "Rock Chalk Jayhalk's" fierce image look like he's wearing Wicked Witch of the West boots? Hmm, not sure the artist captured what she/he wanted...it looks like a combination of a boot, cleats and Sketchers shoes. He looks more like a cross-dresser rather than a fierce animal. 

Lastly, I have been a Penguins fan for years and years, but for the life of me I can't figure out what the deal is with the fiercified version here. What the heck does that mean? It looks like a "penguinized" version of Jaromir Jagr, but I have no idea. Anyway if you get it, please leave me a comment and clue me in. 

* No I am not that bad, I haven't dressed up like a Star Wars character past the age of 9.